School Safety Issue

Dear Teacher,  
 

My mom was diagnosed in 2016 with Alzheimer's Disease  Over the subsequent eight years, I've lived in hypervigilancy, working overtime to keep her safe despite the disease that ravages her memory and functionality.  Above all, I am committed to keeping her safe, healthy, and happy.  To do this, I've taken a six-week Caregiver's intensive course, joined an Alzheimer's support group, and endlessly read books in order to best understand her sickness.  

Despite my dutiful caregiving, last April she experienced a serious fall.  During her daily outdoor walk with my dad, she was overcome by a sudden bout of dizziness (part of her deteriorating brain's inability to gage spacial-awareness).  Losing her balance, she fell sideways, hitting a guardrail on the way down.  The resulting fractured ribs, extensive bruising, and painful breathing were evidence that my mom's safety had been compromised.

This incident sent me into a safety frenzy.  Upon learning of mom's fall, I became over-vigilant, insisting on a tracking watch to monitor mom at all times, with the added bonus of instant first responder calling in times of emergency.  I purchased a runner's tag, an ID bracelet with contact information for family members in case of disorientation.  I insisted on the installation of stove knob locks, oven door fasteners, and lawn mower securers.  My thinking was simple: "If mom was vulnerable in one situation, she must be vulnerable in all situations."

All-consumed (frankly obsessed) with keeping Mom safe, I recognized that my way of handling my fear for Mom was pushing  others away.  My husband was constantly listening to the latest Mom-update.  My children were overhearing endless Zooms with her neurological team.  My dad was hurt that I viewed his care for her inadequate and irresponsible.

In desperation, I reached out to the licensed social worker and professional counselor overseeing mom's brain treatment.  After sharing with her the safety journey, she gave two profound insights:
 1.  My mom's overall happiness was dependent on the health of relationship within my family.  Internal anxiety, obsessive oversight, and fear-based knee jerks were likely to impact everything and everyone -- especially her emotional and mental health.

2.  Heartbreakingly, the fact is that Alzheimer's patients get injured.  Despite all the collective efforts of myself and other caregivers, I needed to acknowledge that accidents and injuries may happen.  

Bottom line?  My job is do everything I could humanly do to keep Mom safe, and then uplift her to the Power that could wrap her in safety, and rest in the knowledge that He is in control.

And you, Teacher, there in you classroom, may likely be over-vigilant in keeping your school safe.  You've adhered to Union Safety Code plans.  You've ensured alarm systems and safety practiced are regularly serviced and practiced.  You've double-and-triple checked the door every time you close down your school.  Above all, you're dedicated to making your school and classroom a healthy, safe, and happy place for students.

And likely, this week's Feather River events have sent you into an all-consuming (and in some cases, obsessive) safety friendly.  You're thinking could understandably be "If it could happen at one Adventist school, it could happen again."  And it's true, this week's active shooter was evidence that one of our schools was compromised.  However, similar to my own broken thinking regarding my mom's safety, a vulnerable school in one situation does not mean vulnerability in all schools.  

So, if' you're feeling desperate these days, exhausted from constant wariness and suspicion, use these two take-aways from your own licensed (school) counselor:

1.  Your students' overall happiness is dependent on your overall mental health and your relationships with them.  Your internal anxiety, obsessive oversight, and fear-based knee jerks are likely to impact everything and everyone -- especially student emotional and mental health.

2.  Heartbreakingly, the fact is that schools have incidents.  Despite all the collective efforts of you, your administrator, and your superintendents, we must acknowledge that schools experience traumatic events.  

Bottom line?  Your job is do everything you can humanly do to keep your students and school safe, uplift it to the Power that can wrap you in safety, and rest in the knowledge that He is in control.

Power-Praying with you,

Mindy
Christian Educator & School Counselor